"Just by walking around and seeing so many quilts, you see the number of people that have gone through this same thing you have. You see you're not the only one."

— Brittany, 16

Quilts

Many quilts, made up of quilt squares in memory of loved ones, line the walls of the Caring Place. The quilts are memorials, as well as reminders of the connections made between the families at the Caring Place. Making the quilts is an opportunity for families to become closer. The quilts become a celebration of our loved ones' lives.

Along the walls throughout each Caring Place facility are dozens and dozens of quilts, made up of hundreds of individual quilt squares. Each quilt square, lovingly created and designed by one family, is a memorial to the life of one who is loved.

Far beyond simply adding beauty and color to the walls of the Caring Place, the quilts are living reminders of lives that are no more, and of love that continues on.

The quilts are sewn together from the memories of fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, those who are no longer present to their families, but who live on in hearts and minds — and in squares of cloth.

The quilts are also signs that the families are not alone. Square sewn to square, the quilts demonstrate the connections the families have made to each other.

When you look at the edges of the squares, where they're attached to the others, you see connection. When you look into the center of the squares, you can see the depths of relationships that are still alive, the memories that live on in these children and adults.

All of the families who attend the Caring Place have the opportunity to create a quilt square in memory of the family member who died. Creating the quilt square is both very difficult and very meaningful for a family.

"The quilt told me that I'll always remember what he looks like." — Gia, 7

As important as the square itself is the process of creating the square, which provides an opportunity to share pictures, stories and memories. This sharing is vital to the grieving process — we need many opportunities to talk about our loved ones over and over again.

As the quilt squares are created, as the families talk, as the stories are shared, as the tears flow and the laughter rings out, the heart begins to heal. The quilt-making sessions become very powerful acts of family togetherness.

As one mother of two teenage girls said, "When we got a chance to work together on the quilt, it really cleared the air for a lot of issues with us. Because we had to work together to make it. The night we made the quilt square was a very calming family time. Working together was a great thing."

"Making the quilt helped in the grieving process because it gives us something to leave here at the Caring Place. Our memories of Dejah are not only ours. They are something that we can share. Making the quilt is part of our sharing our memories with everybody." — Gwen, Caring Place Parent

Together, the families work on moving the relationship with the person who has died from a relationship of presence to a relationship of memory.

As the quilts hang on the walls, the families share the memories of the life, and of the death, of those who have died. The families open their stories up to all who come into the Caring Place.

It is these stories that are the quilts' meanings. Each quilt square tells a number of stories about the person who died and about their life in their family.

Because it's the little things that add up to make a life. The little things that constantly come up missing when that life is cut short. And the little things that are shared, in so many ways, at the Caring Place. The little things that help paint a picture of the one who died. The little things that, though painful to think of as being gone, are the treasures filling the quilt squares at the Caring Place. The treasures that are held onto to help lives move forward after a death.

"A lot of times, people around you don't want to talk about the person who died. They don't even want to say the person's name, because they think you might cry, or you'll feel bad. But we want to talk about Sarah — we want to remember Sarah. People don't realize how that helps keep the person alive. Sure, we might cry because we're going to remember some good times that aren't here anymore. But we don't want to ever forget those good times. We don't want to forget Sarah. We want to keep them alive in our memory." — Susan, Caring Place Parent speaking of her seven-year-old daughter, Sarah

The quilts and the quilt squares are not nearly as much about the loved one's death as they are a celebration of their life. The essence of the person's life is distilled into the quilt squares. They are stories of unique lives expressed and shared for all to see — stories in fabric.