Grieving Adults
Someone you loved has died. It's so hard, at times it feels impossible, to truly comprehend that they are gone from your life forever. Yet, you are faced with that reality every minute of every day. You find yourself on an emotional roller coaster, going back and forth between intense grief, and the attempt to shut out your feelings in order to deal with the tasks of living.
If your spouse has died you have lost your best friend and companion, the parent to your children, your life's partner. No longer with you is the person with whom you share a history, who came to know, over time, the nuances of who you are. Gone is the person with whom you shared the experiences of life-the exciting and the mundane-and with whom you looked forward into the future, a future than no longer exists.
The death of a child can cause an unbearable psychic anguish as we grieve the loss of an extension of ourselves. To endure the end of a life we brought forward renders a soul searing pain. Trust in the cycle of life- that you are born and live to old age- has been broken. From that point on everything feels out of sync. The missing is unbearable at times. You miss their laugh, their tears, the way they looked at you, the sound of their voice, the noise of them in the house, the knowing they are home. You miss the joy they brought into your heart. When a child dies, we lose not only who they were, but hope for the future of who they would become.
The death of a parent brings with it the loss of the extension of time from the beginning of your life to the end of theirs. Although we retain the memories, we have lost one of the few people who held the full knowledge of who we have come to be in this life. At times, the death of a parent can also bring grief over the loss of the possibility for a relationship with our mom and dad that we yearn for yet was never realized.
As a grieving adult, often there are others who are depending on you. Many demands are made on you, on your time, on your energy. It's difficult to know where to turn to first. In the midst to taking care of others who need you, your mind is reeling, your own heart broken.
We have learned from adults who have come to the Highmark Caring Place that regardless of the type of death, everyone's journey of grief is unique. Although there will be similarities with others who have suffered a loss, your grief is personal to you. No one can tell you how to grieve. Many people will have well-intentioned advice about how you should grieve and how long you should grieve. In the end we have to discover for ourselves what will help us in our journey.
At the Caring Place, grieving adults have taught us the importance of "grief companions" who can accompany us on our journey. While no one can "fix" our grief, or walk the journey for us, we don't have to walk it alone.
The supportive presence of others who understand can be a lifeline when we feel we are drowning in the anguish of missing the one we love.
At the Caring Place we provide a safe place with safe people where adults and children know they are not alone in their grief, share their feelings and experiences in an atmosphere of acceptance, see that what they are going through is normal, and know that hope and healing are possible.
For more information on the programs and services offered at the Highmark Caring Place please contact us.
