Megan and Chris Divens
On April 12-Easter Sunday-of 1998, the family of four got into their small plane, to move it a short distance. Soon after take-off, they had engine trouble, and in one instant, a family's lives were changed forever. Megan and her mother, in the back seat, survived. Megan's father and younger brother Danny, in the front, did not.
"I was scared," said Megan, 11 at the time of the accident. "And I was scared to tell anyone I was scared. I was scared to go on, scared to grow up.
"I didn't know how I could live my life without my Dad."
Several months after the accident, Megan and her mother began to attend groups at the Highmark Caring Place .
"The kids at school don't understand," she said. "But at the Caring Place , they do understand. It helps, seeing other kids have the same fears that I do. It's not as scary any more."
"No one knows what the future holds. But I'm not as afraid to go out, alone, into the real world.
"And the strength to do this I've gotten at the Caring Place.
"At the Caring Place , I found hope."
Megan's mother, Chris, reflects on the crash.
"That one second," she says, "shattered every dream, every hope we had."
"After someone you love dies, you find your life is like a jigsaw puzzle that's been scattered all over the floor. Over time, you work on putting it back together-and you find that some pieces are missing and gone forever."
Chris speaks for herself and for Megan as she talks about the deaths.
"You can't get all the old pieces of your life back," she explains, "but you can sometimes find some new pieces. The Highmark Caring Place is one of our new pieces that's helping us to fill the holes."
"After the accident," says Megan, "I closed myself off. I didn't want to hear anything about it.
"I was scared to tell anyone I was scared, because I was a kid, and they were adults, and I didn't think they'd understand what I was saying.
"I was scared to grow up without a dad and a brother. I couldn't imagine how I could have a graduation, a wedding, a first baby without them."
Chris recalls that time as well. "I knew something was wrong with Megan because she was acting so much like nothing was wrong. I could feel that she was torn up inside, and I couldn't help her. Megan tucked everything inside, didn't want to let it out to hurt her, and didn't want it to hurt me either.
"The Caring Place was my lifeline to Megan.
"The Caring Place is a safe haven," says Chris. "You don't feel so alone here. You share stories, tears, memories, laughter. "You find people here who really understand. Who talk about the deeper issues, the real things. Who don't just give you cliches like 'You must be so strong,' or 'I admire you so much.'
"This is a path that none of us would choose to walk. But we weren't given that choice. Now that we're on that path, we're at least there for each other. You know you have to face your grief, but it's good that you can do it next to somebody.
"At the Caring Place ," Chris says, "you don't get therapy, you get empathy."
Megan wasn't feeling much empathy among her own peers at school. "The kids at school don't understand," she says. "You can't open up to your friends, or cry in front of them, or you'll be judged, you'll be embarrassed, they'll think less of you. They just tell you to 'get over it'.
"To not be understood hurts a lot. Your friends think they know you, and they don't.
"At the Caring Place , they understand."
"At the Caring Place ," she says, "I opened up and told people about my Dad and my little brother. It helps, knowing I'm not the only one, being with other kids growing up without parents, or brothers or sisters. We're all scared, and we're not afraid to say we are. It helps, seeing other kids have the same fears that I do. It's not as scary any more.
"I'll never forget my father and my brother; the pain is there. Because of being with the other kids here, even though I'm scared, I know I'm going to go on.
"I've had to rearrange my dreams. I've learned that there are other ways to grow up and go on and still have that person who died in your life. He may not be here in person, but in spirit, he is. He lives on in each of us.
"No one knows what the future holds. But I'm not as afraid to go out, alone, into the real world. And the strength to do this I've gotten at the Highmark Caring Place ."
