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Gifts from the Person Who Died

Suggested Group(s): Young/Middle/Teen

Purpose: To encourage the children to identify the non-material gifts that the person who died gave them

Task/need: Converting the relationship…to one of memory, developing a new self-identity

Activity Setup Ideas:

  • For younger kids: The book Badger's Parting Gifts may be a good introduction to this activity with the younger children.
  • For older kids: Begin the activity with a discussion of what the family members who died taught or gave the children in the group. Probe for things as basic as genetic traits (from a parent), such as hair or eye color, to things like skills, habits and behaviors.

Materials:

  • Small boxes (jewelry size or slightly larger)
  • A variety of different types of wrapping paper
  • Ribbons
  • Gift tags
  • Small pieces of paper
  • Markers or pens

Description: Then allow the children to select a box to wrap, and the wrapping paper that most reminds them of their family member. Suggest that the children use some small pieces of paper to write the "gifts" that they received from their family member and put them in the box. Finally, have the children wrap the boxes with the paper, ribbons and tags that they have chosen.

Activity Wrap Up Ideas:

  • Invite the kids to share their "gifts" with the rest of the group.
  • Be sure to have the children take the boxes home at the end of the activity.

Variation: Wonder if the kids want to share the gifts they themselves were to the person who died. "I always made my mom laugh" You may also want to discuss what the children were able to give the family member during his/her life, and gifts that they wish they could still give their family member. In doing this, you may want to have the children fill the box with these "gifts."

The children may want to incorporate these wrapped gifts into their holiday and birthday traditions at home. Ask the group for suggestions for using the boxes for these purposes.

Suggest the kids write on their wrapping paper what they would say or do to thank the person who died for his/her lasting gifts. Wonder if there are things they can actually do to thank him/her (e.g., write a poem, share that gift with others.)

Wonder if the kids have a special tangible gift from the person who died (e.g., a Christmas gift, birthday gift, Hanukkah gift, etc.)