Wooden Tower Change Game
Suggested group: Teen (best with a small group)
Purpose: To introduce a non-threatening way to begin discussion/sharing about changes after the death of a family member
Task/need: Relate the loss to a context of meaning, developing a new self-identity
Activity Setup Ideas:
- Begin by discussing the fact that when someone dies, there are many changes that can happen to a family. These can include who does what in the household, where you live, hobbies, and habits that are different after a person dies.
Materials:
- One Jenga™ or other wooden block tower game for a group of six
Description: Take the first few layers of blocks from the top of the tower before beginning the game. The group begins to play the game each taking a turn to pull a block from the tower and placing it gently on top of the tower. With each piece moved, the group member states one change that he/she has experienced since the death of his/her family member
Activity Wrap Up Ideas:
- You may want to ask the group if they could use the blocks that you kept out at the beginning to make the tower more stable (these represent the supports in their lives). Then ask if it is possible to make the tower exactly the same as before removing the first few rounds of blocks (same blocks in exactly the same position). While the holes in the tower can be filled with other blocks, it is unlikely that the tower can ever be exactly the same again. Discuss the parallels between the tower and their grief experiences.
Suggestions: After a few rounds (while the tower is still stable), have the group pause and notice how the tower has changed from its original appearance, but how it also remains standing.
Adaptation: If using a version of the game that uses different colored blocks, each color can represent a type of sharing question, such as memory, feeling, changes, supports, etc. When that color is chosen, the children can be asked to answer a question from the corresponding category. Alternatively, if a version with the different colored blocks is not available, the blocks can be color coded by putting small dot stickers on the end of each block to represent the different categories of sharing/questions.
