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Feelings Toss

Suggested Group(s): Young/Middle

Purpose: To begin to explore feelings

Task/need: Converting the relationship…to one of memory, living on the grief spiral, relating the loss to a context of meaning

Activity Setup Ideas:

  • Show the group the toss board and explain that the large hole represents the past, since we know the most about that, medium hole represents the present and the small hole represents the future, the part about which we know the least.
  • Then show the group that there are eight (8) beanbags with one feeling on each.

Materials:

  • A target made of cardboard or plywood with three different sized holes.
  • In Pittsburgh, a volunteer has created a kit - ask HCP staff to use
  • 8 bean bags with different feelings written on each
  • Pre-printed cards with questions related to past, present and future experiences of the children (listed below)

Description: There are three holes in the board of different sizes. Each person takes 8 tosses at the board and selects a question to answer, corresponding to the hole into which the most bean bags fall.

If the children pass on answering questions, they may choose a feeling written on any of the beanbags and discuss when they feel or have felt that emotion. Of course, they can pass all together if they choose.

Activity Wrap Up Ideas:

  • Thank the group for sharing their thoughts and feelings.

Suggestions: The same setup can be adapted to discuss a variety of topics, like changes, memories, etc.

Feelings Toss Questions:

Past

  • What is something that the person who died taught you to do?
  • Name something that you loved doing with the person who died.
  • What was one of their favorite foods?
  • Did the person who died have a favorite place to go?
  • What do you think was their favorite holiday? Why?
  • What do you think their favorite color was? Do you remember something they had that was their favorite color?
  • What did you like to talk about with the person who died?
  • Did the person who died have a special item that he/she liked to wear? Do you still have that item?
  • Do you have a favorite picture of the person who died? Tell us about that picture.

Present

  • What is your favorite memory of the person who died?
  • How do you feel when you think about the person who died?
  • Do you have a question you would like to ask the group about anyone or anything?
  • What did you think when you were first told about the Caring Place?
  • There are many feelings we have when a person we love dies. Can you name some of them?
  • What makes you angry about someone dying?
  • What’s your favorite thing you have that belonged to the person who died?
  • How are you feeling today?
  • What is your favorite thing about the Caring Place?

Future

  • What is something you are learning now that you think will help you in the future?
  • What do you want to be when you grow up?
  • Do you think that when you are older you might want to volunteer at the Caring Place? Why?
  • Do you worry about what your life is going to be like now that the person you loved died?
  • How many pets do you think you’ll have when you grow up?
  • What is one thing you will always remember about being at the Caring Place?
  • Is there some place special you want to travel to when you are older?
  • When you think about all the things that the person who died won’t be here for, how does that make you feel?
  • Although your family member has died, can you think of times in the future when their memories or words might be especially important to you?
  • What might you say or do when you learn of a person in your school who has experienced a loss?

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