Group Rules

Suggested Groups: Preschool/Young/Middle/Teen/Adult

Purpose: To establish an environment where group members feel safe in expressing the personal pain of their losses

Task/need: Group building, group structure

Activity Setup Ideas:

• Explain that the group belongs to the members and as such, they need to come up with their own rules for the group.
• Be clear that unlike school, the rules are made by the group, not the volunteers (with three exceptions noted below).
• You might want to begin with an exaggerated version of what rules they may want to consider, "how do you think our group would function if we all yelled at the top of our lungs to be heard?" Then move to setting group rules.

Materials:

• Poster board or flip chart sheet
• Magic Marker
• Easel if the poster board does not have tape on the back.

Description: This activity is a must for all groups. It is an opportunity for group members to come up with their own rules. This way, if members break rules, you can remind them of the rules THEY, as a group, decided on. It is important to display the rules at each meeting so save the rules!

If the children do not come up with these rules, make sure you add and explain the following rules:

1. "I Pass": Each child has the right to say "I Pass" if they do not want to talk, answer a question or participate in an activity.
2. "Confidentiality": What children say in group is kept private. This means that children respect each other by not talking about what other children said with friends, brothers, sisters, etc. We encourage children to talk about what they did in group, feelings that came up, etc. with family members, but staff and volunteers don’t share directly with adults or other family members.
3. "Nobody hurts anybody": This includes physical as well as emotional hurt and hurt feelings.

Activity Wrap-Up Ideas:

• It is meaningful if you have group members and volunteers sign the group rule list to show their commitment to following them.
• Thank the group members for their input.

Suggestions: It is okay to add rules to the list as the session goes on, to ensure a safe environment for all group members. Volunteers may even add a rule as necessary under certain circumstances.

You may want to have the group brainstorm to think of ways to remind each other to follow the rules (Pointing to the list, etc.).

For younger children, it is sometimes difficult for them to take turns talking. If it is an issue in your group you can use a "special talking stick" where you can talk only if you are holding the stick. If you use this idea, it is important to BE CONSISTENT in using it. In one group, the children made a talking stick and decorated it. This helped reinforce their commitment to following the rule.

Consider using pictures (clip art or intenet images) for the preschoolers to help them understand the group rules.