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A Perfectly Messed Up Activity

Suggested Group(s): Preschool/Young/Middle

Purpose: To explore feelings related to loss, change, and how to manage frustration; coping skills

Task/need: Moving toward the pain of the loss, relating loss to a context of meaning, living on the grief spiral

Activity Setup Ideas: Introduce the plan to read a book and do an activity related to the book. Show the cover of the book and ask them if they notice anything about the book (stains on cover, looks dirty). Ask them what they think about the title and what it might be about and have them look at the back of the book and what it says — things don't always go as planned. Ask them if they have ever felt like their life hasn't gone as planned and to think about that as you read.

Materials:

  • A Perfectly Messed Up Story by Patrick McDonnell
  • Paper
  • Crayons or markers

Description: Read the book, pausing to allow the kids to see the imperfections on the page. Ask questions while you read like:

  • How do you think Louie felt when he first discovered the jelly in his story?
  • How did Louie's feelings change from when he discovered the jelly to when the crayons for smudged?
  • Have you ever had something that messed up something you were working on or something that "messed up" your life (can be related to grief or other general times they felt frustrated; just let the kids lead the discussion)?
  • When you approach the part where Louie says he "gives up," ask kids in the group if they ever felt that way and encourage them to share what they did when they felt that way.
  • Did you ever have a time when you felt like Louie when he thought his story was ruined? How did you deal with those feelings?
  • How do you think Louie felt at the end of the book? What did he do to help when he felt like his story was ruined?
  • At the end of the book, look again at the title without the crayons — "A Perfect Story." Ask if anyone has ever had a perfect story. Point out that things are usually not as perfect as we plan and talk about ways the kids have managed when it doesn't go perfectly (can lead into discussion of how to handle rough times).
  • Be careful:
    • To not shame feelings or ideas offered. If kids offer suggestions that may not be a positive way to handle it, ask them to explain more or elaborate on if it did/didn't help in the end.
    • Rather than sending the message that they will be fine (as that is noted in the book), make the focus on the feelings Louie has and validating those feelings. Note that the takeaway is that things were challenging, but Louie found a way to cope with his feelings and adjust, even though things weren't how they wanted them to turn out.

After you finish reading the book, let the kids know that you are going to have them do an activity related to the book.

Two options for the activity:

  • Draw a picture of what they might encourage Louie to do when his life is a perfectly messed up story (to reflect a good idea he/she currently uses or could use in his/her own life).
  • Make art out of mistakes! Give each child a blank piece of paper and use crayons or markers to make a scribble. Then trade papers with a partner and have the partner make something out of the scribble. See what they can turn the "messed up" scribble into.

Activity Wrap Up Ideas: Look at the pictures drawn and have the kids share either their ideas of what Louie could do when things got messed up or have the kids share the scribbled pictures and what their partner made them into. Thank them for sharing their pictures and ideas and feelings related to the book.

Be sure to process the activity with questions like:

  • Offer for the group to share their drawings and what coping skill they drew. Point out commonalities or ask the group, "I wonder if anyone has used that skill themselves? Was it helpful?"
  • Ask the kids to share how they transformed the scribble. How did it feel to change someone else's drawing? What was it like to see your scribble changed?

Note: Please make sure your site has this book available. You may need to use the Youtube link: Read Aloud: A Perfectly Messed Up Story.